A recovery coaches’ job is to guide…
I started down a journey a few months ago, and that was to start my own business. It was scary and nerve wracking in the beginning, but the longer I stay in this scary place, the less scary it became. I’m simply trying to teach others what I have learned on my path to my recovery. Recovery from depression, addiction and a once debilitating hearing loss. I currently have two cochlear implants and the ability to switch the world “off”, once my curse is now a blessing. (I have 3 young children so silence is golden!)
Lately, I have been listening to Dr. David Burn’s book “Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety” and in it, he gives so many different techniques about conquering depression & anxiety once and for all. While I will recommend that EVERYONE read the book, I know that many just don’t have the time, energy or motivation to do that. Kinda defines what depression is right there, the inability to help yourself when you need it most.
So I would like my blogs to be a source of solutions for those who need it. I’m going to start my first one with a technique that I think a lot of people can relate to, whether they have addiction or not. I won’t take credit because the credit is not mine, and luckily as a coach, I don’t need to re-invent the wheel. Just find the skills and techniques to pass along, and if it works for you GREAT, but if not, no worries, there will be more to come. I have modified this technique to speak directly to alcohol but it works for any drug or behavior.
Devil’s Advocate Technique
This is a role-play technique. First, you record the thoughts you have when tempted to give in to your addiction.
For example, if you struggle with overeating, you might be thinking:
1. Oh, that pizza looks so good.
2. I’ll just have one bite. Just to take the edge off!
3. I deserve it, it’s only 500 calories.
4. I’ll just have a low-calorie beer.
Next, you identify the positive distortions in your tempting thoughts. The ten positive distortions are the mirror images of the ten negative distortions, and they’re listed on the Checklist of Negative and Positive Distortions. For example, when you say, “ I’ll just have one. Just to take the edge off,” you are discounting a lot of data to the contrary.
Next, you ask another person—it could be your therapist or a friend or family member—to play the role of the devil who tempts you to drink. Your job is to talk back to those thoughts in real time. Use role reversals when you get stuck.
For example, if you’re struggling to stick with your sobriety, imagine that you’re walking past your favorite bar and you hear the music calling your name. The promise of a good time. Reminiscing over times when the night didn’t end badly. The devil (played by your friend) might say, “Gee, why don’t you go head in and just listen to the music and have a cold one? It would taste so good.” You can fight back and say, “I don’t need a cold one, and I’ll feel terrible if I give in. I’m committed to my recovery, and I’m looking forward to picking up my six month chip in two weeks” The devil will try to break you down again and say, “You deserve it! You’ve had a hard day.” Then you can fight back again. This method can be surprisingly challenging, especially if the devil verbalizes your tempting thoughts in a seductive and persuasive manner. When you are playing the role of the devil, try your hardest to persuade the other person to give in to the temptation.